Oedipus Regrets Not Joining '23andMe' Sooner

"So I killed my father and married my mother," King Oedipus said. “I never suspected these people were my parents, or even my second cousins.”

“After I found out we were related, I mean really related, I was so mad I could spit. Which I later did—into a test tube.”

After joining 23andMe and discovering more of his DNA relatives, Oedipus narrowly avoided killing a great uncle, marrying a first cousin, and lending his Prius to a man pretending to be his half-brother. The self-blinded king also learned he inherited a predisposition for self-harm.